Copyedit The Saga

Move the Windows Update stuff somewhere else; it's (a) a big
tangent (b) a shaggydog story.

1 files changed, 145 insertions, 0 deletions

diff --git a/guides/sysadmin/machines/hirondell/maintenance.org b/guides/sysadmin/machines/hirondell/maintenance.org
index 1e44459..d6c5182 100644
--- a/guides/sysadmin/machines/hirondell/maintenance.org
+++ b/guides/sysadmin/machines/hirondell/maintenance.org
@@ -191,6 +191,151 @@ great good.
 - The [[#random-lag][random lag I had been observing since 5.8]] seems gone 🥳
 - =libtree-sitter-dev= is new enough for Emacs; can get rid of my
   =/usr/local= version.
+** Windows
+*** 2025-03
+For [[file:../amdahl30/killing-time.org::*SSD?][reasons]], had to dust off my Windows installation.  Asked
+update-grub to [[https://www.debian.org/releases/bookworm/amd64/release-notes/ch-information.en.html#grub-os-prober][run os-prober]], booted, did "the thing"; then, out of
+due diligence (at first; quickly replaced by morbid fascination;
+sustained by existential ennui), attempted to push Windows Update as
+far as it would go.
+
+A lightly edited set of live notes follows; starting with the original
+boot following the os-prober restoration.
+**** Boot the Ⅰst
+- "let's finish setting up your PC" ??? [fn:winup-boot1-setup]
+- installed kingston manager thingy [fn:winup-boot1-kingston]
+- waiting for updates to finish
+  - waiting…
+  - "2023-10 Cumulative Update" stuck at "Downloading - 5%" 🤷
+    - welp, does not seem to progress anymore, and there are updates
+      pending restart, so let's
+
+[fn:winup-boot1-setup] This Windows installation was, AFAIR, pretty
+well "set up" when last I booted it.  Hence my surprise at this
+greeting.
+
+[fn:winup-boot1-kingston] The [[https://www.kingston.com/en/support/technical/ssdmanager][Kingston® SSD Manager]].  My main reason
+for turning on that Windows system, to be able to upgrade the firmware
+of amdahl30's primary SSD.
+**** Boot the Ⅱnd
+- "give us a minute" FFFFFUUUUUUUU
+- "we're updating Xbox Game Bar" WAT [fn:winup-boot2-xbox]
+- "your version of windows 11 has reached end of service"
+  - "click here to download a newer version of windows 11 to stay
+    supported"
+  - ffs
+  - Windows Update not doing anything; "download now" greyed out;
+    "cumulative update" dropped down to /0%/
+  - 100% CPU still burning 🤷
+- update running…
+  - "antimalware service executable" taking 50% CPU during the update
+
+[fn:winup-boot2-xbox] I have never owned an Xbox, nor have I ever used
+this Windows installation for anything game-related (beside
+downloading & running [[https://www.pj64-emu.com/][Project64]] that one time, to evaluate how well
+that laptop could handle N64 emulation).
+**** Boot the Ⅲrd
+- "windows 11, version 23H2"
+- hope I don't have to go through =2{4H{1,2},5H1}= 😬
+- "need more disk space" are you kidding me
+  - removing my music then…[fn:winup-boot3-space]
+- "almost ready"
+  - "we need to do a few more things before you can update. we'll let
+    you know when we're done and what to do next"
+  - wtf
+
+[fn:winup-boot3-space] I, perhaps unwisely, split my 128 GB drive into
+two roughly equal-sized chunks, one for Windows, one for Debian.  The
+former sitting unused, I had dumped something like 5–10 gigs worth of
+media onto it.
+**** Boot the Ⅳth
+- "Your computer may restart a few times"
+  - YOU DON'T SAY
+- 1h later it's still at 9%
+- I think I'm going to sleep tho; which means it will probably reboot
+  to Debian without completing 🙄
+**** Boot the Ⅴth
+Mornin' Debian; no, actually I was installing Windows updates, you can
+go back to sleep mate.
+
+Windows is probably done with the external storage, right?  Detaching.
+**** Boot the Ⅵth
+- "❌ please reattach external storage"
+  - /I freed 5 gigs of Music for you/
+  - not even tumbleweed full-distro rebuilds are that big
+**** Boot the Ⅶth
+- "you're up to date (last checked: yesterday, 9:01 PM)"
+  - first of all Windows Update: you just spent 15s loading; why is
+    the last check yesterday evening?  What were you doing during this
+    15s load?
+  - second, isn't there, like, a 24H2 or something?
+  - "check for updates" again please
+- "updates available" 🤪
+- some downloads later…
+  - "you're up to date"
+  - /also on the very same window/ "2025-02 Cumulative Update Preview
+    for Windows 11 Version 23H2" to "Download & install"
+  - 🎭
+- seriously though, is there not an option to climb to 24H2?  why go
+  for the "preview" of [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Windows_11_version_history][a /maintenance/ release]]?
+- maybe a reboot will fix it 🙃
+  - woah =⊞ restart=…
+    - proposes (LLM-backed?) completion
+    - says "restart apps after signing in" is the "best match"
+  - woaaah, =⊞ reboot=… says the "best match" is a 2022 TV show 🤣
+    - the right margin even autoplays the trailer
+    - the right margin also shows "results ranked by relevance" and
+      /the first one/ is a Microsoft Support link to "restart
+      (reboot)" your PC
+  - OK fine, that was "fun"; luckily =⊞-x u r= still works
+**** Boot the Ⅷth
+- well, no, I still must install this "oldstable preview"
+- OK then; do that
+**** Boot the Ⅸth
+- "check for updates"
+  - {{{narrator(thinks a lot)}}}
+  - "you're up to date (last checked: today, 9:02 AM)"
+  - what are you talking about?  It's 9:42, you've just booted, and
+    /spent thirty seconds checking for updates/ how can the last check
+    be 40 minutes ago??
+- {{{narrator(thinks a lot /again/)}}}
+  - "you're right 🤪"
+    - "have a security intelligence update"
+    - "also, 24H2 is available"
+- just to be on the safe side, start with the "intelligence update"
+  then reboot
+**** Boot the Ⅹth
+- alright then, "download & install" 24H2
+- creeps up to 34%
+- "making sure you're ready to install (this may take a few minutes)
+  (please wait)"
+  - I assure you Windows /I/ am ready to install; please stop
+    projecting
+- (wait hang on; why are you saying it's 10:26 AM Paris time; it's
+  11:26 AM Paris time you goof)
+  - "last successful time synchronization: 1/8/2022 7:01:49 PM" 🤣
+- "what needs your attention"
+  - "this PC can't be upgraded to this version of Windows"
+  - "your PC isn't supported yet on this version of Windows"
+  - what have you spent the last 30 minutes doing?  how do you realize
+    this /34% into the installation process??/
+  - there's only a "refresh" button that does nothing
+    - close
+    - "are you sure you want to quit?" /you will literally not let me
+      do anything else; why are you asking me??/
+- well then; perhaps disk size?
+  - mmm only 6 GB free on =C:/=
+  - ah, perhaps the 7 GB =C:/Windows.old= directory is a problem 🙄
+  - let's install windirstat I guess
+    - winget is neat!
+  - I have basically 2 GB of personal files; everything else is
+    Windows cruft
+  - "System → Storage → Cleanup recommendations" agrees we can reclaim
+    the 7 GB =Windows.old=
+**** Alas
+That was all the energy I could muster this week-end.  We might not
+have updated all the way to 24H2, and we might never succeed!  All the
+same, we laughed, we cried; quality entertainment.  Sort of.
 * Hiccups
 ** impromptu IBus
 Installing [[https://zoom.us/][Zoom]]'s Debian package somehow enabled IBus[fn:: AFAICT